I thought about this last night. Satisfied at having finished a good book with a happy ending, I was hoping for my own. I lay in bed, looked at the ceiling and closed my eyes. And thought about him. Well. I love his mouth. I love his voice. I love the way he puts his hands over his face when he finds something unbearable or disgusting. I love his laugh. I love his passion for God. I love how he rubs his belly as if he's just finished a truly satisfying meal. I love his smell. I love his hair. I love the way he runs his hands through his hair. I love his smile. I love his honesty. I love his sense of humour. I love how he holds sandwiches in his hands. I love the way I have to smile when I think about him. I love his belly. And his back. And his arms. I love his strength. I love his solid frame. I love his height. I love him when he's feeling grumpy. I love him when he's ecstatic. I love his shyness beyond his very confident exterior. I love his fear of mess. I love that he plays the guitar. I love that he is independent. I love that he is hardworking. I love that he is creative. I love that he goes bright red when he's embarrassed or shocked. I love that he can ride a bike better than I can. I love him. Basically.
Now that I've got that off my chest. [I want to carry on but I'm still thinking of him] Whenever I think of him its almost like I can see him. Vividly. Like he's standing infornt of me. But I know he isn't there. And yet the thought of him almost makes my heart stop. How can you convey emotions like these? No words are big enough. Or good enough. Nothing is perfect. Nothing fits. But he fits. He understands. He listens. He jokes. He talks. He even sings. He fits. Do I fit? With him?
He wore a nice shirt on Sunday. A green one with a yellow emblem on it. A polo shirt. And his favourite jeans. From H&M. And those trainers he loves so much. The baby blue and dark blue ones. He hates dogs. One bit him when he was little, and he hasn't forgiven a single dog since. He prefers cats. I prefer dogs. Those kind of things don't matter when you love someone though. I'd gladly give up my dog for him? Would he give up his cat for me?
The book I read yesterday. The cause of this cloud of tiredness hanging over me. Back to the book though. It's by Jill Mansell. It's called 'making your mind up'. There's a bit in the book which talks about taking control of your life. I want to do that. I mean to a certain level. I want God to take control of my life. But that doesn't mean I don't have a job to do. I'm not making sense. Basically what I mean is that I want to take control of this situation. Between him and me. Obviously I'm going to pray about it, and if I feel God is telling me I shouldn't do something that I want to do, then I wont do it. But I'm gonna put my foot in it.
What else can I do?
G. I. T.
xoxo
9 comments on I love him
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Thanks for sharing your love life with everyone -- we all really enjoy hearing about your challenges and triumphs with this topic. You have a lot to offer any special guy worthy of your time and affection.
Love isn't really about the way someone looks or how they make you feel. Love is an understanding that no matter what, that person is going to be the one that will go through anything with you, will encourage you and give you unconditional support. What you see in this guy definitely are nice things and those are the things that ATTRACT you to him. They are surface things that make the person more desirable to be with.
I couldn't help but agree with you. And I know for a fact that if he's the guy that God has chosen for me and we do end up together, I will be by his side NO MATTER WHAT. =]
G. I. T.
xoxo
That was cool. xoxo
well i found my true love when i wasn't looking,
but i had to respect him still do 55 yrs. married june 29,
you didn't say how old you were??? sweet dreams
You have the right makings for what might be love...true love. There should be an attraction first, things that you just love about him like maybe you've never loved about anyone else before. If he is attracted and has love for things you do...you know, things about you...then a mutual love may very well grow as you get to know each other a little more each day
I couldn't help but notice the comment left by 80hanginginthere...that is amazingly wonderful and happy news! There's a woman with experience who knows how important respect, trust, and other virtuous qualities are a part of love and happiness. If we could all find that same kind of love to enjoy for our whole life like she has...wow, that would be awesome!
I think it's great that you are giving it all to God. If you follow him...u can't go wrong.
I'm so impressed with your relationship with God. I know God has control but I tend to try to take it away from him far too often. Good for you for knowing what you believe is God's will for you!
i know exactly how you feel, though i cant be with him and it makes it harder, oh how i love how he puts his hand through his short hair, the way he laughs and his eyes are just the most amazing thing I've ever witnessed. i could go on forever. i miss him, i really do.
but anyways i love your writing!
xo L.C.
Thanks, and I sympathise with you. From one girls heart to another =]
G. I. T.
xoxo